He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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