ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
