singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
