Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
