R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
