craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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