oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
