Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
