I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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