WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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