I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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