Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
