So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
