can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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