She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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