That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
