i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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