I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
