Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
