My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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