you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
