The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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