Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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