I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
