I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
