the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
