I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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