Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
