It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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