butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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