no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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