worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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