Umm I'm too high to move.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
