Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
