it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
