and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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