I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
