I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
