so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize