Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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