I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
