I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How does one acquire holy water?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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