where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize