I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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