Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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