So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
