Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
