it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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