we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
