She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
