I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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