And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
