My nipple is on Facebook.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
pray to the hookup gods
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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