WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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