I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
