How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize