My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
