Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
