My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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