How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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