This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
