omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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